Y/N

CHOPPED & SCREWED Episode 3: Stag Night Steak

Sometimes you can’t always cook for a fine honey dip.  Sometimes you have to put in time with your crew.  We know how cumbersome and awkward this can become without enough booze or weed.  Check out this latest installment on how to shock the clique with a sick steak meal. It’s perfect for the winter when you’re hanging with each other instead of hanging out on the couch with a “wife status” girl watching late night TV.

NO: SHITTY “SUB CULTURE”

Here at Y/N we’re big on acknowledging the 21st Century.  This means also acknowledging that there’s no  “normal” anymore as well as no  real sub-culture worth blogging about.  Anyway that being said the Vivian Girls are just plain bad.  Both live, on record and certainly in interviews.  Just cuz they’re girls in a band doesn’t make them good. Don’t trust the internet! Go yell awful things at them outside of the 6th & I Synagogue tommorow night.

YES: MARCO

Marco Pierre White, who took the reins of the UK’s Hell’s Kitchen (formerly hosted by Gordon Ramsay) is now getting his own show in The Colonies, “The Chopping Block.”  The title is adequately severe without being as in-your-face mass appeal as “Hell’s Kitchen,” much like White as opposed to Ramsay.  While MPW is definitely insane, he does seem to be a little less egotistical than Ramsay - I mean he looks like shit, but didn’t always.  The fact that MPW looks 20 years beyond his real age while Ramsay was recently voted Britain’s Sexiest Chef illustrates the difference between the two and the purpose of each’s dedication.  As for this show, NBC will assuredly edit it such that White looks like a hard-ass psycho but it’ll be interesting to look at the business of opening restaurants as a whole as opposed to just cooking in the kitchen.

YES: A TIGHT VIDEO, NO: SOME GREEDY BASTARDS

Here’s a little video made by one of Y/N’s valuable tech support peeps (you don’t get a manual when you pirate Final Cut) highlighting some devilment by developers on those Carolina Coasts.  What’s not tight is houses like this are guaranteed to be destroyed by hurricanes, so only the government will insure them, and last time I checked the gov’t got its skrilla from taxpayers.  When you hustle the government, you hustle everybody.

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YES: NO HEROES NO HONEYMOONS

Zulu Pearls is probably the best shit you’ve never heard of.  We’d like to take this opportunity to be the first to blog hype this group and their new record “No Heroes No Honeymoons” all the way to the top and back into obscurity.  Check out this weird Hi-8 promo for it.

CHOPPED & SCREWED: Episode 2: Da Bomblette

Here you go playa, hook up your hook up with an omlette in the morning.  Joey drops knowledge on two styles, an omlette for a throw away and one for the future “Mr./Mrs. Right Now.”

NO:  WASTING EVERYBODY’S TIME

What the fuck is this noise?  This dude actually got Project Pat (who rules) to come to his little (Williamsburg Brooklyn, no doubt) apartment and “chill” which is actually just some sort of some attempt at irony-punching the viewer (Williamsburg Brooklyn, no doubt).  Why would you just play some stupid ass record of DIXIE (are you trying to relate on some Tennessee shit? Becuase Dixie carries some racist baggage) or talk about being Jewish (are you trying to relate on some “minority” shit? Because coming up Jewish in wherever America is not like coming up black in Memphis) I mean this is just boring to watch when it could have been either pretty funny or at least a somewhat serious interview.  I’m not saying go all out but at least step your swag up in the presence of the man who wrote “Good Googly Moogly.”

YES:  THE OTHER FALLEN BAD BOY

Since Biggie is getting all this love/playtime becuase of that movie Y/N thought we should highlight another Puff protege who took one for the team.  He is now serving what ought to be his last of a ten-year sentence for bustin caps while Puffy hid behind a table.  Its all for the better I guess, this dude has some of the hardest shit I’ve ever heard which matches perfectly with his slightly-more-guttural-than-biggie-Belizian-American voice. Just peep the self-titled album, rich with scarily serious rhymes from “Life is what you make it/well I made it leavin muthafuckas naked” to

It's a cold World baby boy, fuck it, I'm colder
Animals on my back keep me warm, my armor
Frank Lucas persona, warmin' coke up in the sauna
let me warn ya, trip against my team you's a goner
infact it's drastic
a couple Million in the mattress
with a safe dick I say fuck taxes
rather endulge in duct tape pig tie tactics
crime pays nigga, 
Nine-Hundred and Ninety-Nine ways
my destiny's vague, will I survive or blow trial?
lay shot up, Puff cryin' in denial
while my enemies smile, buried in style
Gucci suits and cufflings


sneakin' drugs through Heavens customs.

YES: NEW KILLA

YUSSSS.  Cam’ron is back on the scene, seemingly channeling his beef woes through Tyrone and Tia Everyman’s economic nightmares.  We can also be thankful he isn’t switching it up at all really: A nice ditty-bop beat with dat grand piano singin’ my heart out feel with the Apollo theater back up vocalist sample is classic Harlem Cam, and really I don’t think he’s capable of altering that four-bar flow, but the swag is there and you can kinna feel his pain in like a beat up dog way: “he ain’t diggin me/politely he was dissin me/no we’re not hirin/thanks for the visit, please.”  He may actually just be poor, however - the video is lookin a tad frugal. Sepia tones and who knows where it was filmed seeing as Cam’ron probably can’t show his face in like 46 states.  But either way we missed you Cam, and Y/N is lookin forward to dat album suppozably droppin in April 2k9.